Saturday, November 26, 2011

The Cubicle Rebel (business, humor)

REVIEWED BY: Marguerite Zelle




BLOG DESCRIPTION: Jennifer Kley is a reluctant cubicle dweller who plots her escape every waking moment. She resents CubicleVille and all of its trappings. She types 85 wpm with few mistakes and loathes paper cuts. She keeps snacks in her desk drawer because she believes the vending machine is part of a grand conspiracy to make and keep workers fat and lethargic and therefore underpaid.

Kley is the author of the book “Cubicle Rebel: Ramblings of a Tragic Employee”, a memoir of sorts of her hilarious and quite painful jobs from age 11 to mid-adulthood. She’s a rebel for only pretending to conform and she’s tragic for her failed efforts. Kley is a self-described comedy writer who infuses mental shortcomings and right-brain driven mishaps into her musings. She resides in the Washington, D.C. area, she avoids traffic like shootouts, thinks SUVs are increasingly evil, plans to get a dog soon, is far too often hormonal and is perpetually ornery.

Her photo isn’t included because she doesn’t want the thumbnail to end up on a Russian web site advertising “dynamic, feisty American frumpy women for dating and good times.” Actually, she doesn’t want her current Establishment to discover that she writes about them in books and on the web. (Shhhhhhhhhh!!!)

Also…(now I’ll speak in the first-person):

I’m a lifelong Cubicle Rebel.

I run from office environments.

They make me itch.

And plotz.

And kvetch.

I was always a tragic employee. Always…from the actual swivel chair to the beige or gray partitions surrounding me from 8-4 or 9-5 or 8-4:30 or whatever daily time period I’ve been sentenced to until whenever I decide that I can really truly live off of the land.


And all others.

MY REVIEW: This is an enjoyable, funny blog, written by the author of the book, The Cubicle Rebel. Workers, especially those in cubicles, will enjoy this it.

Sample post:
Ladies and Gentlemen:


I repeat:


Your chosen Establishment is a ways to a means; a way for you to pay for your housing, your car, ridiculous gas prices, potato chips, chewing gum, maxi pads, shaving cream, newer shoes, batteries, whole grain bread, Starbucks cult elixir, new underwear when the elastic boings out of the old ones…You get the picture.

But your Establishment is NOT a place for your mind to be taken over.

You must remain in control of your journey.

You must protect yourself from becoming viscerally one of them.

When you hear words and phrases too often such as:

“The Team”



“Associates”–particularly “Our Associates…”

“Together we can…”


Be wary. Be very wary.

This is cult speak. Companies, organizations, your chosen Establishment is out for mind control. They want you to believe that the oganization you work for needs you but not as much as you need them. They want you to think that they care about you, even your family. They want you to believe that what they are paying you is enough, especially before taxes. They want you to play nice and not revolt and subserviently ignore that you will never ever have a seat by a window. EVER. They want you to believe that your squeaky “ergonomic” chair is perfect for your frame even when you spill over it.

They want you to eat microwavable meals for twenty years and use the same water fountain they do to wash down miscellaneous noodles.

They want you to disclose personal information about your health so that they’ll know how to–ahem–insure you adequately. They want you to eat leftover muffins and previously fondled donuts that The Executives flown in from the midwest didn’t want. They want you to be a Follower, regardless of the ongoing “educational” training they offer to keep you feeling auspicious about your career path there.

It’s all a game. And if you’re losing it’s because your first mistake was to trust them with your next twenty years.

First rule of thumb:

Bring your own Kool-Aid.

--I Mean, It’s Your Butt
--Short Work Week
--Illegal Interview Questions?
--The Evil Vending Machine
--Cult-Like Speak

Reviews published every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
Check out my kindle BOOKS!:
Whose Body, by Dorothy Sayers (the Annotated Edition)
The Coldest Equations (science fiction)
Volcano Seven: Treasure and Treasure Hunters
The Lady and the Tiger...Moth

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